Weekend of Horror

Thats right a weekend of horror was just experienced from watching Paranormal Activity 4 and Sinister. But horror is a huge overstatement. Both these movies were complete jokes and were more of the comedy side.

Reviews coming for both soon

Prometheus

So apparently what we have here is a prequel of the great Alien Quadrilogy of which I have the VHS tapes of all. Which leads me into my next point of why I was so disappointed with this film. First off be prepared for absolutely nothing to happen within the first hour or two of this silly timeline. Then when action hits its, well dont get me wrong, it was phenomenal (especially in that AVX surround sound orgasmic tuning) but what in gods good name was the purpose of some of it was beyond my understanding. Likely due to intoxication but a small chance it wasn't. Thank you Prometheus for a sensational let down

On Tap: 

• 2 Canadian Tall Boys
• 1 Canadian Club and Cola
• 1 Spleezy

P.S. the screaming or whatever it was in the trailer makes me laugh everytime

also Charlize Theron is always hot: 1 point for Prometheus

End of Watch

Well that was just a fantastic movie. It had both experiences brought out in the movie: violence and emotion. With these two aspects combined and evenly used it filtered into a great movie that actually had my interest for the full movie. We got these two joker cops and then theres the "dark side" so to say, no pun intended, but they are black. The black gangs play a little role but get the story moving along, keeps things in line, and shows what L.A. cops actually do all day. Arresting THE CRIMINAL SCUM and doing paperwork. Then we have the cartel which are an annoying bunch of filthy bastards from Mexico. Every second and third word out of the what seemed to be the "líder del grupo" was fuck, fucker, fucking or a combination of all three. This combined with the annoying woman driver who has the typical slang english spanish fucking soup of a language. It made you want to hate them and it worked. Just every little scene blossomed and grew into a finale which was, well, uh, I don't want to spoil it.

Overall fantastic movie

p.s. I was informed from one of my colleagues that one of the cartel actors is actually a criminal. I knew that acting was to good to be true.

On Tap: 

• 200 ml Johnie Walker Red Label
• Can't think

The Campaign

That was probably one of my top 10 funniest movies I have seen in a theatre. Yes alcohol played a part in it, no kidding. There was maybe a total of 5 minutes throughout the 85 minutes of this film in that I wasn't laughing. From nip slips to glasses not breaking when thrown into a fireplace-you'll get it when you watch the movie. I can't wait to watch this movie sober, to see how stupid and ridiculous of movie it actually is.

Drunk Rating: 9/10

On Tap:

• 2 Tall Canadians
• 1 helluva spleezy

Taken 3

God damnit. Damn you to hell you writers. All anyone cares about is money nowadays. What happened to making a good movie and leaving it. NO! They have to go and screw it up and made 15 different stupid sequels with more tits and more guns. Can you blame them though? I guess I'm just upset since I saw Taken 1 and it was a fantastic movie.

Taken: around $25 million
Taken 2: $50 million and growing
Taken 3: BILLIONS OF DOLLARS AND LEMMINGS

• I'll probably watch it anyway

Full story here: http://www.movies.com/movie-news/taken-3-news/9868?wssac=164&wssaffid=news

Looper

I'll just start off with a rating of not a satisfying watch while under the influence

Who would of thought, alcohol, making you stupid, simply amazing. With this said I realized what I was watching was something like a 10 year old understanding quantum physics. I really had no idea what was going on. I periodically fell asleep twice in 15 minute intervals (probably the reason I didn't understand anything). Although I bet watching this movie sober is probably a fantastic movie . Just take a look at that trailer. This is why I'm probably going to watch it again, maybe drunk, and just maybe I can overcome the effects of alcohol on the judgement of movies. All in all I was rather amused and entertained, from the parts I was awake.

p.s. Why is Bruce Willis always an angry motherfucker

• On tap: 10 Coldshots
• 1 spleezy

Happy Thanksgiving

Hope everyone had an awesome thanksgiving. Just wanted to add a quick interesting video for when your beers aren't twist off.

If worse comes to worse I usually use a lighter.

Interesting discoveries

Coldshots are great for when your in a rush. Can easily pocketed and brought in for what I like to call as "Theatre Brew". I prefer the Budweiser over the Canadian ones because of the taste.

I'm almost always 15 minutes late to the movie. All I'm missing is previews so it is not a big deal. Also a note to add: If your watching a movie at Cineplex theatres make sure you grab the AVX. I'd watch the god damn previews all day if I could.

That bass is almost orgasmic.








If inhaling the medicinal properties earlier during the day smoke almost double before the movie to be at the same state as you were in earlier that day. Why? The Law of Diminishing returns.

In short: "The tendency for a continuing application of effort or skill toward a particular project or goal to decline in effectiveness after a certain level of result has been achieved."

Read more: http://www.answers.com/topic/law-of-diminishing-returns#ixzz28kyLdpYp

Taken 2

What a horrid movie. Thats it

A typical shitty sequel that should've never been made. Technically it had potential but at the same time the first movie was so good how could they follow something up like that. Thats saying something about a action movie not being able to entertain a drunk person.

For shame

On tap:

• Captain Morgan
• Pumpkin Beer (Not as awful as I thought it would be)

Update

Increased drug intake has shown promising results in the dream category. Vivid and Lucid dreams have begun to increase. As well as the "deja vu" which leads me to believe that life is just a dream.

Will keep you posted with more tests including (The Campaign, Prometheus, Looper)

Sincerely, Hamsbaby

RESIDENT EVIL: RETRIBUTION

Wait, what is it now the damn eighth one now.  These are the thoughts of a very sober man, thats right not just sober but very sober. The thoughts of a drunk man however is quite astonishing. My latests tests prove that when under the influence you are susceptible to such action. I mean really this movie was just beautiful to the eye. Shitty story, but its what I went for. I as well found it quite humorous that some people got up and left. Look at these fucking connoisseurs of modern theatre.

Wasn't much of a person for rating but I'll give it a definite watch if stoned or drunk for maximum pleasure.

On Tap:

• Disaronno 375ml
• side note this with coke vanilla is heavinly
• + you dont get that drunk off it
• 1 gram spleezy

Almost forgot, if your not going to watch it for the story or action, watch it for this beautiful babe

Welcome

This blog will consist of what else, drunk movie reviews. Throughout my time I will be heavily dosed with the drug known as alcohol and occasionally marijuana. Doing this is a testament of my will in which I will be performing experiements on the affects that these drugs play in the face of movie reviews. This post is consisted of my sober attitude and I have not decided whether I will be writing the movie reviews intoxicated or not. Most likely I will because I want fresh ideas only in these posts.

As well I would like to add that you are free to join me in such an occasion or try this on yourself. I am simply documenting my process.

Please be within your right to follow current standard laws of drinking and taking drugs that are bound to you in your country

Thank you, Hamsbaby